A big part of my life is wanting to die

i think im crazy

i used to think crazy

was easy to spot

but i’ve realized that crazy

cant be seen with the naked eye

its something in our closets

something we’ve taken great care

to be able to hide

crazy lives in our chests

see i do this thing in poems

when a line gets to deep

and too personal

i switch points of view

and say words like our and we

because i dont want the paper

to know that im talking about me

crazy lives in my chest

it is all that i will ever be

i am broken

no one can fix me

im crazy because i spend my life

looking for someone who can fix me

they say insane

is doing the same thing

and expecting a different result

i tell everyone i meet that i love them

and i wait for them to say it back

im insane

because every day

im waiting for them to say it back

if i was sane

i would stop saying i love you

if i was smart

i would stop being broken

i would stop

rubbing people’s words

on my cracks

like some kind of glue

there are so many cracks

only a crazy person

would think glue could put me back together again

i am real live Humpty Dumpty

except no king

loved me enough to try

and put me back together again

im crazy because i try

to make as many people as possible

my friends,

and call the cluster ‘king’

i had a great fall

i am still breaking

only a crazy person

would call that living

i call this living

and a big part of my life

is wanting to die